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127 wege dein Bike zuschrotten

127 Wege um sein Motorrad zuschrotten bzw. sich selbst.
Die Liste ist schon etwas älter und funktioniert eigentlich fast nur bei Motorrädern die keinen Seitenständerschalter haben. Dazu kommt noch das diese Liste in Englisch ist.

  1. Putting your foot into a hole when stopping.
  2. Putting your foot down on something slippery when stopping.
  3. ocking the front wheel during overenthusiastic braking.
  4. Missing the driveway and sliding on the grass.
  5. Not putting the kickstand down when getting off.
  6. Make a turn from stop in gravel or sand at high throttle.
  7. Not putting a board (‚foot‘)under the kickstand on asphalt on a hot day.
  8. Letting overenthusiastic people sit on your bike who have never been on a bike.
  9. Forgetting the bike’s in gear when you jump on the kickstarter.
  10. Revving the engine, releasing clutch, and putting feet on pegs when the light turns green, but the bike’s in neutral.
  11. Not putting your foot down when stopping at red light.
  12. Losing balance when putting it on the centerstand.
  13. Take an hour ride in 30 degree weather with no gloves, stop at a stop sign and pop the clutch when you start because you’ve lost feeling in your hands.
  14. Putting your foot down at a toll booth on the thick layer of grease that builds up when cars stop.
  15. Using too much power when you pull out of a greasy toll booth.
  16. Ignoring the sand that builds up in the spring at the side of the road (in places where roads are sanded and salted in winter.)
  17. Kicking your kickstand in a cool fashion and having it bounce back up instead of staying down.
  18. Getting off your bike while it is running and forgetting that is in gear.
  19. Trying to kick start your first bike over and over because you didn’t realize that it was really out of fuel, and getting the goofy metal ring on the side of your boot caught in the kickstarter, causing you (and the bike) to go over on the right side.
  20. Starting your brand-new electric-start trail-bike, riding around an ornamental shrub on full left lock, throwing it to the right and accelerating to wheelie over the curb onto the street and _then_ discovering that you hadn’t unlocked the steering-lock…
  21. On same bike, getting the dual-range lever caught inside your jeans as you come to a stop…
  22. Having your boot/jeans catch the gear-lever and putting your running bike into first gear whilst reaching for the side-stand (which is why I now automatically pull in the clutch whenever deploying or retracting the stand.)
  23. Having „green“ racing linings which have much higher coefficient of friction on the slight rust that forms on the polished drum when you’ve not ridden for a few hours, and lose the front-end holding the brakes on against the throttle to wear off the rust.
  24. Having a three-cylinder two-stroke that’s so smooth you think you’re in second when you’re actually in first, so you spin out when the undercarriage touches down in a tight corner passing a car and you think, „just a bit more throttle will help here…“
  25. Revving bike in impressive squidly fashion at red light, thinking it’s in neutral; dropping clutch and standing in place while bike wheelies and backflips into intersection.
  26. Having your fat-ass brother (as a pillion) lean waaay over to the side to look at something on the ground while at a stop sign.
  27. Wife gets foot caught on saddlebag while getting on before you.
  28. Rebuild carbs and treat bike like it still needs full gas away from a stop.
  29. Bald tires, and a smatter of rain.
  30. Look at the sand at the edge of the exit ramp rather than through the turn.
  31. Neither you nor your dad watching while he’s backing his car up to the woodpile to unload wood.
  32. Not putting the pin that holds the center stand all the way in and then trying to put the bike on the center stand.
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